Life is a beautiful mess, pay just a little more attention to the flowers.
The Clutter
From moral science to the internet everything describes life with whatever positive adjectives that can be found, life is beautiful, wonderful, rich, amazing and what not, at least from most of everything I have ever read or have heard of, now don’t get me wrong I am not saying life is essentially the opposite of everything I have just mentioned, it indeed is beautiful, rich, and everything, it is but a clutter of random thoughts, unreal expectations, over-compromises, unnecessary guilt and what not, sometimes you feel angry, disgusted or maybe stuck with God forsaken people, in pathetic situations or this common feeling that nobody gets you, such is life it is a mess it gets tougher as it passes, if it is not then is when you actually are stuck, so it is a mess and it will continue to be even with the best of our efforts, all we can do is organise this clutter be a better mess and at the end of the day we all try striving for that in our own way.
The Unhealthy Competition
We as humans are at are very best when we are troughing around blame or finding excuses and when life gets messier than what we think we can handle we step up the blame game and blame anyone and everyone we can find for anything that is going even mildly wrong with our lives.
We often feel that we are at war with the world “Everyone is against me.” Is an expression we all have heard or felt at some point in our life. I know I have uttered these exact times on a number of occasions. This expression then sets something negative in our lives, we either sulk and stop enjoying other positive things that life has to offer and over think our situation and rot it in our head which reflects in our passive aggressive behaviour or flat out start a lone war against the world in both these situations we believe that we are competing against everyone else, against the world.
There are two things that are fundamentally wrong with this thought process.
- You are capable of enduring far more than you actually believe you can, stop whining and move on whining gives you opportunities to blame which results in “Everyone is against me.” Or it gives you an excuse to stop moving forward.
- NOT EVERYONE IS AGAINST YOU, you don’t even know everyone, life is a mess to everybody, they are sorting their mess just as you are sorting yours they are as cluttered as you which may sometimes result in frictions, arguments, all you can do is cut them some slack, you always have excuses when you are at fault, well they are the same in their world.
Calm down and empathise, everyone is as much against them as much as they are against you. Stop this unhealth competition you are just crushing yourself mentally with something that you can train yourself to easily ignore.
A Better Mess
Mark Menson in his book “The subtle art of not giving a f*uck” states something along the lines, that we have a limited number of fucks to give, and should not waste it on anything and everything instead we should only give importance to things that are of real value to you or your loved ones, this is what most of us are not able to do, we tend to overthink and that results in unnecessary waste of time, energy and what we gain from it is only stress, anxiety and possible mood swings.
Instead, we should assess a situation and see if there is anything we can do about that situation if yes, we should do that something and see if it made any difference and assess again with the same yardstick can you do something, if yes do it, if not, what is the point in worrying about it if nothing can be done, stop wasting time.
we should always stay in the present, even when we are in a confrontation or an argument, we should focus on what has happened at that very moment, that will not let the argument blow out of proportion bringing things up from the past reinforces both of your anger and the actual argument goes somewhere else not does not even remotely remain about what it began with, not doing that will help maintaining sense in the argument and probably the other person will listen and improve, you would not sulk, as a result of it neither of you will feel that the other person is against you.
Most of the times it is not a person or a situation that is messing us up but our own memory, you feel angry, disgusted not because someone said something to you or about you, but because you keep thinking about it time and again, that person that confrontation bothered you just once, and then it is just you, your memory, your thoughts that keep playing that back again and again which results in you not being able to concentrate, work effectively, over think and waste time, all this will affect your productivity and then you’ll feel angrier and blame that person for your inefficiency but is that really their fault or is it you who is responsible for your current state, think it over.
Ignore these things, stay on course, everyone is YOU in there own story, be farsighted but stay in the moment especially in a verbal spat and, slowly but steadily untangle your life it is not a one day process nothing is, life doesn’t require motivation, it is in my opinion overrated it fades off in a while leaving you in the same spot after a few god days or months (days in my context), life instead requires us to build discipline slowly but progressively, be a sloth build it brick by brick, life will still continue to be a mess but I promise you it will be a better cleaner mess, it will still be a clutter, but you’ll not be stuck you’ll get work done.
Like the clutter my room is but I still know what things I will find where an optimised clutter, and maybe someday, someday when you are an organised mess, you will even find you, your purpose and everything else.