Snoozing life
It’s 8:00 am on a Sunday morning in December 2020. The alarm from my Google home app was buzzing, “It’s 20 degrees and sunny in Bhubaneswar.” It said with Anuv Jain’s ” Barishen” playing on my phone. I sat the alarm on a snooze and rolled back into bed. Did that for the next 5 times as well.
That was my story each day everyday. Crawling out of bed was as difficult as going back to sleep at night. I was not doing much of anything but I was still running short of time at everything I tried doing. I was as irritable as I was in my teens. You could say that I never grew past my teens even when I was in my late 20s. I was not mature enough for my present life. I haven’t been in a long time.
The question ⁉️ answered
I suppose it is that way for every man that has ever lived, barring a few amazing individuals obviously. Men, well we don’t grow up soon enough, not in compression to girls. Hell my mother lays down a step by step instruction manual if she hands a responsibility to me or my father. My wife does that same for me. We don’t grow up according to them. Hell I act so irresponsibly sometimes I doubt if I ever will grow up.
I was looking for an answer one day. The answer to the question why don’t men grow up? Instead I fell upon a podcast which told me why do girls find it easy to grow into mature beings? And he mad sense according to me so he said something along a lines of women having physical signs of growing up which help them attain maturity ( periods). Post that or even before that they get this constant feedback from the parents, family members and even society that “You are a grown up now” or “you’ll be growing up soon” this constant feedback along with the physical signs of growing up is what becomes the path to their maturity.
The boys dilemma
As for the boys what do we get a voice that initially wobbles between highs and lows it gave me a depression if I come to think of it. Because we do not have major visible physical changes, we do not mature in other senses as well. It always is a constant battle between adolescence and adulthood for us males.
The drive to change this, to be an adult comes from within I suppose because it requires:
- Better understanding
- A willingness to change
- A lot of lifestyle changes (sometimes hard changes)
- Resilient Mindset
At least that is what it took me to grow a little bit.
Maturity: the path I took
Reading as I have said a lot many times has in a sense changed me completely. I do recommend reading now to everyone. Audiobooks are a good alternative, so are certain podcasts, but there is nothing like reading a physical book. I don’t ask everyone to dive into the self help genre as I did but reading a non- fiction or a self help book every now and then does help in this process.
Also reading is great getting inspired is better but leaving something in a while is something you cannot, you should not do. Not when your goal is attaining maturity that should have reached you a decade or two ago.
Thinking through
Thoughts are powerful so much so that they can alter your perception of reality. Attaining control over your thoughts is essential for maturity I have discovered that life can be easier, happier and less of a burden if we take it as is. You project maturity when your prescription of life is not affected by your thoughts. That is when we live in the moment and are immersed in it completely and don’t let anything else affect our presence in that moment. That is when all our tantrums take the back seat or even perish.
I understood this when on a regular day I was home alone. It was about noon and I found myself irritated at everything. I was irritated at why there was nothing to watch on OTT, why was the day not that sunny and even on why the water did not fill my flush tank soon enough.
My voice on the phone sounded loud to my mother and she asked me if I was angry at someone. I was not as there was nobody there I was supposed to enjoy that day, watch a lot of movies, order whatever I felt like eating, I was literally supposed to Netflix and chill but I was frustrated. It was then that I realised that, I was thinking of a past event that was ruining my mood and that is what manifested as the frustration. I had no one to blame but myself. My perception of reality changed because of my thoughts.
Chaining your thoughts
Meditation helps with controlling thoughts. I have found that the less my mind wonders the more stable and focused I am. There is peace 🕊️ in the finding that the world is messed up and it is fine. This is how it is supposed to be and you need to stop being pissed off at every other thing. Maturity at least to me is knowing the world is messed and being at peace with it.
Endless path endless bliss
Maturity is mostly treated as an event which it is not, I have heard people say to others “You have grown this big and still are not mature enough.” We have to understand that maturity is more of a process and not an event. You gradually attain maturity it is not a one day crash course. Sometimes it will require additional effort on your end. I had to jolt start my process with books 📚 and I enjoy both now, the books as well as the subtle changes they brought in me.
Now if you see me with my daughter I won’t ever look a sane individual to you I am immature to the core with her. Neither will my parents or my wife ever say that I am a mature individual they never will, I can bet my life on it. Maturity though is a process I believe I am improving every day. Maturity also tells me that I have a limited amount of fucks to give and I don’t want to give and I don’t want to waste my time or energy on anything that is not (fuck)worthy.